Love

WHT HAPPENING???

2007-02-24T06:24:00.000+08:00

OH GOD.. WHT HAPPEN TO ME PAST FEW DAYS?? NOW THE TIME IS 6.24AM.. I STILL AWAKE....NOWDAYS CANNOT SLEEP AND EAT WELL.... WHTS GOING WRONG WIF MI AGAIN... ???????????????????????????

A Our final Goodbye

2007-02-03T18:59:00.000+08:00

When i first met you i knew we were meant to be,because i liked you and i knew you liked me. when i'm with you and it feel so good i don't know what has come over me.

I always ask myself, why do i love you with all my heart?well today i found the answer to solve the question. you plays with my heart. What can I do? you makes me happy and then 2 seconds later i am sad.... you always make me cry! But now i am going to stop loving and trying to get back you. i don't want a guy that treats girl this way.

We dont even talk anymore. We both went our seprate ways. At first we were lovers and now we cant stand each other. I wish u could understand how i feel but of course u cant cuz u forgot where the loves at! sometimes i say to myself "wasnt i good enough for u or was i some B**** to be messed at with?" Sometimes i believe it was my fault cuz of all the fighting we went through but at the same time i remember that the reason we would fight is cuz of ur stupidity! Even though i love u so much but i think its time to close my heart for u and keep it all inside me

Now i think its time to say GOODBYE VICKY!!!!!

LOST TRUST

2007-01-17T23:52:00.000+08:00

hi guys. This yr nth new for mi. on new yr itself i broke one of my resoultion... i felt so lonely.. i was waiting for him to msg or cal mi but he didn't ...
i belive whtever he told mi but when daes passes by he simply broke the trust, i at on him... i feel like giving up and move on my life but something is stoping mi nt move on... my life so fucked up.

logesh go tell all his friends tat i'm his gal.. nonsense... wht the hell he thinks. i onli can treat him as my friend nt more than tat but he dun understand... becuz of this i'm nt intrested to keep in touch with him.. now we both living in different path. i realli lost a gd friend.

I'M DAMN STRESS!!!!!!!!

Hello Friends

2006-12-30T18:33:00.001+08:00

Hi guys. Sorry for nt updating my blog for past few daes. i was busy finding job wif my friends and nowdaes i hv no time to come online to check mails or chat wif my friends.

Well recently i got my NITEC result. I did much more better than my past 3 semester and i'm very happy with tat. anyway i hv no idea wht i going to do next. SHOULD I APPLY FOR HIGHER NITEC OR DO PVT DIP IN MDIS? I TOO CONFUSE...

Now I'm abit recoving frm the pain i wen thur dis yr. now i'm very clear wht i going to do in life. hope everything will go well..

now i'm in my grandmom house. having alot fun wif my brother, uncle, anuty and my parents. i realli miss uvaraj. even he nt wif us now,he always live in our heart and soul. well mi gtg now. going out wif my brother for a movie...

Bye Bye...MISS U SO MUCH.. MUACKZ

My love wont nv fate away

2006-12-13T19:02:00.000+08:00

Well now im finding for a gd job and logesh helping mi in tat. After the big fight we that on last sundae (3rd dec) recently i and him get back together as a gd friends . i understand his feeling but he don't understand tat i'm nt mean to be his... my heart & soul is nt with mi. how loud i laugh, i'm still not happy, no matter how hard i cry, the sadness still grows inside, the more people love me, the more i feel empty cuz all i need is my baby to love me.

Todae 13 dec. the first time my dear and i met in bishan control station. Within a yr alot of changes and things happen between us. i thought i could move on my life without him but i was wrong.. cuz memorise of those wonderful moments i and him spent together are always on my mind. Even i hv alot of guys friends no one can reach as how he reach my heart. he was my gd best friend and lover i had in my life. i realli unlucky gal. whoever i love the most will leave mi and go.

i always think i'v already over him but once i see him name or hear his voice i suddenly realize i'm just pretending to be over him to ease the pain. i juz wan to tell him if u may not think of me when you're happy and having a good time, it's fine...but please don't forget me when you're sad and blue coz i want to be the one to take care of you and make you smile.

I REALLY LOVING AND MISSING U ALOT

Miss you

2006-12-07T17:21:00.000+08:00

Finally graduate frm ITE. Ytd was my last paper..my paper questions all so hard.whtever i study nv come out. so disappointed. whtever is it i did my best for answering all the questions and i hope i will get a gd GPA. well after my paper my friends and i stay in skool for a while than hanisha and i wen to eastpoint to hv lunch wif ken and my cuz. we had alot fun time.

Well i realli going miss my ite friends. past 2rys the days i'm with them was so fun. dun forget mi... always keep in touch.

MISS AND LOVE GUYS ALOT. TAKE CARE!!!!!

Ytd i nv expect my ex sms mi. i was so happy tat even its just for a sms, i've crossed his mind. i dunno how to explain the happiness i had in tat moment. even i'm happy, i still worry abt him. i hope he will take care of himself.

DEAR I REALLY MISS YOU ALOT.!!!

Past few Mths

2006-12-04T15:19:00.000+08:00

Hi guys!!! I'm sorry for nt updating my blog past few mths. i was busy wif my skool work. Well past few mths alot of thing happen in my life. i nv expect dis changes. Seriouly during dis few mths i dun feel like living but now i wan to live for him ONLY FOR HIM.. Even i'm nt in the relationship i'm happy tat i'm beside him...

-September-

During dis mth i got a chance to talk to him. I cry and talk out my feeling but he dun wan mi. he gave alot of reason to move away frm mi. he lied and hide things i dunno why? i'm very sure he still love mi but he dun wan to show it out. even he nv care, cal or msg mi, I LOVE HIM ALOT .

Last time I CHOOSE TO LEAVE HIM BUT HE CHOOSE TO LOVE MI BUT NOW I CHOOSE TO LOVE HIM BUT HE CHOOSE TO LEAVE MI.

-October-

Beginning of the dis mth i disturb him alot. i nv understand him.. i was onli thinking abt myself and my life. i was so selfish.

Oct 13 was his b'dae and i was the last 2nd gal to wish him and i so excited tat i going to meet him the next day. After a long time i saw myself smiling happily. i met him near his place. when i see him i feel like hugging him but i control myself nt to. even we had very short time to spent, every single second i spent happliy wif him.

In the middle of dis mth i had a big fight wif him. Tat moment i found he change alot. he wasn't the guy i use to know last time. i so dissapointed and feel hurt. he make mi cry alot. even i found out alot of things abt him frm others i can't hate him. i always tell to myself whtever he does there is always a reason behind it.

The last week on dis mth in my life alot unexpected things happen. i had a friend called devan. i treat him as my friend but he treat more than a friend. i explain to him i can't be his gal friend but he dun wan to listen. he pass my num to his cuz to talk to mi behalf of him. his cuz wen over borad and talk to mi very dirty. i ask my guy to help mi in dis matter but he nv show any interest in it. i so fed up and i was so angry becuz he wasn't there for mi to help. tats the moment i started to hate him alot. On the same nite devan cuz bro called mi and say sorry. i was so shocked. he told mi, he nv mean it to talk to mi like tat. he wan to show mi HOW MUCH MY GUY LOVE AND CARE ABT MI.

-November-

I started stop disturbing, callin or msging him. i wanted to forget my past and move on my life. when dae passes by i got love and care frm someone special outside. i wont say his better than my ex. my ex is very nice lovable guy. its very hard to find dis type of person but u guys may think than why he treating mi like tat? One thing i can say WHTEVER HE DO THERE IS A REASON BEHIND IT.

well i like the care and love i get frm the special person but i find it something different even i tot to move on in my life, i cannot. i feel so guitly. i always think " IF I FAITHFUL TO HIM I CAN'T BE TRUTHFUL, IF I TRUTHFUL TO HIM I CAN'T BE FAITHFUL." i juz realise tat i cannot forget my ex even how nice the special person is to mi.. i love him so much. i feel like talking and meeting him for the very last time before i deciede smth. i called and tok to him. when i listen to his voice i fall in love wif him again.

- December -

2nd dec i met him in yew tee mrt station. he came down wif his amry uniform. he look so cute and i like his hair cut. well i was so hungry, he brought mi to mac. after a long time i had a lunch wif him. i remember all my past. when i talking to him, i felt realli hurt him alot. the way he talk to mi i felt so sad and i ask myself why i nv understand his problems. I can't find a word to describe my emotions... i'm speechless.

NOW I CHOOSE TO LOVE HIM IN MY LONELINESS, FOR IN MY LONELINESS NO ONE OWNS HIM BUT ME!!. i onli hv one wish. i wan to see him living a happy life thats the onli happniess i going to hv my life time.

Relationship

2006-08-29T20:22:00.000+08:00

When a relationship first starts, many of us would like to think that it will last forever. That's the kind of "LOVE" we see on television, and in the movies, isn't it? But in reality, there are many times that relationships don't work out the way we hope that they will - love grows cold, expectations and interests change over time, and more.

When you meet someone you like, your first tendency is usually to be on your best behaviour, to give the other person the best impression of yourself. But as time passes and you get comfortable with each other, you start to let your guard down, and show your true colours. Is your partner really the same person that you thought them to be?As you start finding out abt your partner's hidden secrets, you may feel that you aren't able to deal with the person they are, compared to the person you thought they were.

As time passes, ppl's feelings do too. That'sonly normal, because we're only human and feeling are never written in stone. Even if you stepped into the relationship with a true heart, thinking of spending your whole life with your partner, there is still a possibility of a change of heart

Soon i will die

2006-08-26T17:16:00.000+08:00

How long i going to live in dis world.... i feeling like dying... i can't bear the slient he giving to mi... its hurtz and pain.... i love him so much tat i scared to lose him... i dun hv the strange to look out the world now... why! why! why!

I already half dead when he say i DUNNO to continue dis relationship or nt.... wht doesn't it means?????... day by day i can't bear the pain he giving to mi... love hurtz alot... why did i love him???... why did i trust him?... why did i nv understand him?...

Give mi back my life... i wan to see myself again.. i hate the way i'm living now... i dun wan dis life... plz anyone can help mi... i'm hopless...

i hate myself

2006-08-02T16:05:00.000+08:00

i'm lost, confused and ashamed... i wan to cry out loudly .. i cant hold back my tears... i'm speechless... i'm so hurt and i can't bear the pain anymore...

i hate myself..

Aching Heart

2006-07-31T19:13:00.000+08:00

Todae is our 4mth relationship......i feel down the drain now! I dun understand wat wrong. Its very difficult for me to go thru this....i've lost. I dunno if he feels the same...so far no calls or msg form him either. I miss the daes i'm wif him.....everytime i made a mistake he forgives mi and accepts me back but now tat i have made a great mistake and i'm willing to change myself he's not giving mi a chance to change...

I can't find a word to describe my emotions... but all i noe is my Heart is ACHING...
No matter how much i fight or angry wif him my love towards him always the same... its nt juz a word i telling dis frm bottom of my heart...

May god bless him where ever he is and in what ever he does..i will always pray for him..
Always Waiting For You

MISS AND LOVE YOU ALOT MA....

Hoildaes over

2006-07-25T10:44:00.000+08:00

Finally hoildaes all over... wow i'm very happy tat i'm back to skool... i saw my friends... miss them so much sian... well dis is my final yr.... i got 3 main subject tat i going thur dis term... and i hv 200 hours to finish my final yr project... i shouldn't be playful gal anymore in my studys...

well ytd i got my time table... i love it ma..my class end earlier... nt like last time... ytd my lesson end at 12 wow.. i wen to simie ite to see my friend gogila... i took my lunch there... the food is nice...well after taking my lunch.. gogila and i left the skool and when to tamp mall for window shooping... while i and gogila shopping hanisha join wif us...after shopping we went to mac to eat ice creams... hehe.... after eating ice cream gogila wen to meet her ite friends to go senkeng to meet her guy... so gogila hanisha i and her friends all took the same bus to go sengkeng but hanisha get down near her house bus stop... the guys are friendly... even i nv talk to them i enjoyed the fun .... when we reach senkeng interchange... they all left...while i was waiting 4 the bus hanisha called mi and we was toking abt our problems....

anyway i got a new friend,.. he such a nice guy..I admire him the way he tok to me..He teach me abt the future of the life..i nv tell him my problem but he somehow understand tat i having a problem... he gave a good advice... he to mi dis "Problems are nv ending..if we give them too much attention we'll end up crying of the little human life we hv....remember there is a such thing as death that will end all problems one day in our lives...But after that you'll nv get the laug again. so laugh more than crying as crying has got its solution of an end...." the way he tok to mi.. i found a new strange to live a new life... i dun wish to lost dis friend..i wan dis friendship to grow more..

enjoyed

2006-07-17T21:54:00.000+08:00

Today i was so happy and enjoyed alot... today i went to yishun to watch Imsai Arasan 23rd Pulikesi wif nans, reva and kutty gogi... the movie is nice... begining till the end the movie so funny...before the movie start we all went LJS to take lunch...we was taking our happniess and sadness things happen in our life...i realli miss the secondary skool daes...i wish i could turn back the clock :)...well after the movie we all decided to go bishan to take neoprints... when we reach bishan, we went to neoprint center... kutty gogila and i went to change money and reva and nans went to choose the neoprint machine...after taking neoprints we leave the J8 becuz nans hv to go to temple... we all went to interchange to take bus 53... wow.. long time i nv took the bus... its reminds mi alot of thing.. and comimg wed all my close secondary skool friends going to bishan to celebrate suvitha b'dae... i can't wait to see my darling tigger (suvitha).. she is one of my friend who understand mi head to toe... :)

Even i'm happy outside... inside my heart i'm worried and sad.... i realli miss him alot... i cannot sleep, eat well.. i always think abt him...now he in ns.. i dunno wht is happening to him... but i hope and pray to god nth will happen to him....

MISS YOU

The dream i had on my love life

2006-06-29T14:50:00.000+08:00

The dream i had on my love life

-care and concern

-loving

-sharing each other problems

-trust

-kutty kutty arguments

-when he having problems, I wan to give him my shoulder to cry on... even i dunno how cheer up him .. i wan him to know i always there for him

-even i'm late to meet him..i wan him to wait for mi patiently wif a smile...

-holding his hand and talking a lot stupid things

-i wan him to control mi even he knows I wont do it...

-sayang mi like baby..

-make mi cry 4 fun...

- forget and forgive.. whtever problems or arguments we hv...forget on the day or next day..

-even i cannot meet him.. i wan to listen to his voice be4 going bed...

-on the day how much we fight be4 going bed say some sweet words...to make mi sleep well

-if i so stupid and he knows... i dun wan him to discourage mi..

- if i going in a wrong path and he knows i wan him to bring mi in rite path..

-he must love mi who m i...nt for wht I can do for him

- when he going out time I wan him to tell mi where he going.. nt to be kpo but to pray to god nth happen to him..

-when he reach hm I wan him to call me and say he back hm save... frm that happiness i will go to bed peacefully...

-even whtever he wan to do and i dun like it..as his gal i will tell him my opinion.. but i wont force him nt to do the thing i dun like..i'm giving him freedom...nt taking his freedom

i realli dunno wht happen to mi... i know some of my wishes i nv do back to him... wht i should do? he expect mi to understand him when he nt sharing anything to mi.... i feel so bad i can't be a good galfriend to him.. i realli dunno how to love.. now i know why yoga leave mi and go....

When i first saw you in Bishan mrt station i was afraid to talk to you, When i first talked to you in LJS I was afraid to like you. When i first liked you i was afraid to love you. When i first i loved you i was afraid to lose you... Now i already know i going to lose you, i afraid to took out the world without you

Chellam I promised to take care of you, but i hurt you. I promised to bring joy, but i brought you tears. I promised you my love, but i gave you pain. YOU???... You promised mi nothing, but you gave me everything."

Life

2006-06-26T21:14:00.000+08:00

i feel so sad...last friday nite (23-06-2006) one of my icc friend got into bike accident... i onli get to know the news on sat nite...on sunday afternoon hanisha and i went to hospital to see him... he was so badly injured and doctor say tat he only got 1% to survive...after seeing him i feel so down and i remember my past.. how my bro died... i feel like crying but i control it...his family, relative and friends cried and prayed to god...and we all was hoping to hear the gd news frm doctor....

Todae afternoon my friend nans called me and told be that he passed away... when i heard the news i was so shocked and upset... we prayed so hard but god nv help us.. WHY GOD SO SELFISH... wht he did? why god took his life so fast... no one expected dis...

i juz wan to pray to god tat.. now he is nt in dis world.. hope he will have a happy life in heaven and hope his soul rest peacefully....

My Day

2006-06-22T21:02:00.000+08:00

Yeshhh.....Finally i finish all my exams... now is the time for me to enjoy my hoildaes... anyway todae i did my NETWORKING FUNDAMENTAL TEST... The paper was super "EASY"... whtever i study nv come out... all becuz of my teacher.. nv tell my class to study the correct chapter...1/3 of the paper was wireless.. shit man... i know i already lose 25 marks like flying kit...nvm.. its already pass.. hope i get a good GPA Point dis term...

well todae after test i met my friend gogila... i and her went to toa payah... wow my day wif her was so fun!!! we making fun of each other...sharing problems..ect.. i and her went 4 window shopping... but at the end i and her bought a blouse.. its so nice...hehe... our next meeting we both going to wear tat blouse.. hehe...

i feel tat nowdaes i getting lonely... soon i going to miss someone badly... onli got 15 more dae... i wan to spend my time wif the person.. but i dunno the person is understand wht i thinking or..... and i dun wish to open my mouth and ask any think.... i feel one kind... whtever izit.. i juz wan to leave a msg tat... take care of urself.. if got time dun forget to contact mi...and... dun forget ur "JAMBO".

Studys

2006-06-19T19:58:00.000+08:00

Hi friends... todae i did my D com test... nt bad the paper wasn't so hard tat wht i expected... i studied day and nite.. well i hope i will get a good result and i got another 1 more test to go... NETWORKING FUNDAMENTALS..OH MY GOSE.... i nuts abt tat subject.. i realli hv to study hard...since the day my teacher started to teach the theory i realli didn't bother to listen...during the theory lesson i will be busy toking to my friends or playing games in the computer but one thing i enjoy doing my pratical work!!! its damn FUN FUN FUN!!! oops time ups.. i hv to go and study...take care.. bye bye...

I'm So Confuse

2006-06-18T14:44:00.000+08:00

Nowdaes i so confuse.. i having the fear tat i will lose him becuz of my attitude, ego,stubborn..ect...i didn't mean it to be like dis to him past few weeks... i love him so much... tats the problem... i dunno how to express my love tats why everydae i fight with him...i know i hurt his feeling alot.. i can feel the pain..

Whenever i fight wif him.. i will ask him 4 break but my mouth is the one saying nt my heart... ya in anger i dunno wht i'm talking... but how long he going to understand and be patient towards mi?

He understand mi veri well... but i nv take a chance to understand him at all..whateva he do i always misunderstand...since the dae he likes mi...i scolded him..i hurt him...even i say get lost frm my life... but he veri patient and he still loving mi... i know i'm in wrong...i have to change...no matter wht i dun wan to lose him... i need him i wan him.. forever always everlasting...

I'm Sorry !!!

Everyone do mistake at times

2006-05-10T21:35:00.000+08:00

To my Darling,

why u so worry abt wht ppl tok... you nt living for them, u living 4 urself........everyone in the dis world do mistake at times...so u dun hv to be so scared wht ppl think abt u... doesn't mean i fight wif my close friend becuz of u... she change alot... i dun like the way she react to mi nowdaes...thats y i'm so angry towards her... she never react to us like tat be4 but wht happen todae in cca roadshow...everything have been change...!!!!

Whtever izit Dear... no matter wht i always beside u.. i will there when u need a shoulder to cry...i will there when u need good advise....SO PLZ DUN LEAVE MI ALONE... I WAN U!!! I NEED U!!!....

Love You Always

Ur Sweet Darling

Vani

Missing You

2006-04-18T21:30:00.000+08:00

To my Darling: Baby,Mouse,Sotong ,Tigger,Piggy,Vathi Bhai & Kathi Bhai

So do you remember the days where we shared our feeling...Cried for friendship..Laughed for jokes... Fought for rights...I think you have not...i have not too..I miss the days where we were together and the time spent dancing, fighting, laughing, crying,disturbing tamil teacher,play wif the broom in tamil class,wet in rain...after skool go hv lunch together than go back to skool for cca.. etc...I MISS FUN WE AT IN SECONDARY SCHOOL DAYS...I have no idea where would i be without you da..thank god for giving as my friends...What did i do to get you as my friends...I don't noe but i am greatful for this and i think you are too..

MISSING YOUR LAUGHTER ALOT...

Friends Make A Difference!

2006-04-18T19:47:00.000+08:00

Some people come and go in our lives, like passing ships,

nameless faces or forgotten dreams,

never meant to be part of our lives, but they are.

Kindred spirits who come into our world,

they touch our hearts and make a difference in our lives.

They give us the gift of friendship so that we are not alone.

Friends share simple, ordinary times in our lives,

moments that become memories

that stay in our hearts forever

and we will never, ever be the same.

Dedicating To All My Friends